


Past the Clouds

by ItsCutterKirby



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Dream Smp, Flashbacks, Found Family, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Panic Attacks, alternate universe: phil is a good dad to tommy, ask me if i need to tag anything else idk, i cannot write phil please bear with me ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28386144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsCutterKirby/pseuds/ItsCutterKirby
Summary: Tommy builds another tower to annoy Technoblade, but it brings up unpleasant memories.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 18
Kudos: 484





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a lot like my previous fic but shush i like these characters  
> this time with 100% more phil!

Tommy steps out of the retirement shack that day with an objective: make another cobblestone tower to annoy Techno. The idiot never shut up about how Tommy was, “practically asking Dream to storm into his house,” to which Tommy responded, “You can’t tell me what to do!”  
So Tommy set out to push his luck once more.

He went to the front of the house, where Techno could surely see him if he looked outside, and started with the scaffolding.  
He piled it as high as he could before scaling the tower and reaching the top.

Then, he looked around.  
He could see the entire tundra landscape, which disappeared into the horizon.

“Wow,” he said. “I’m past the clouds.”

An uneasy feeling welled in Tommy. For a minute, he didn’t know why. He’d built towers before, why were his hands shaking?

“I’m… past the clouds,” he repeated.

Then, he wasn’t in the tundra anymore.

Tommy stared down at the ruined ground below, a haunting look in his eyes. His one bare foot trembled in the chilly air expected from such a high altitude.  
Tommy hugged his arms, unable to take his eyes off the view below.

_It would be so easy…_

He bit his lip.

He’s so alone.

“Every week to come and watch me…” he mumbled.

He looked at the broken shambles of Logstedshire.

He was so high up…

It would be easy to just… _fall…_

~

Techno was outside as soon as he heard a shout. He had meant to ignore Tommy and his seemingly never ending supply of obvious cobblestone towers, but the shout complicated things.

When he got outside, he gazed up at the scaffolding to see it reach higher than usual. Tommy wouldn’t scream for no reason (well, he _would,_ but nevertheless), so Techno sighed and ascended the thin one-by-one tower.

At the top, Techno finally realized what was wrong.

The nuisance living in his basement was crouched in on himself. He was shaking violently and muttering phrases Techno could barely hear. Techno had only seen him like this a few times, notably when they’d left the Final Control Room. Techno had assured him healing was a long process, but Tommy was stubborn and refused to confide in him about it.

Tommy was clearly stuck. Techno decided on what to do. The piglin cleared his throat. “Tommy, I’m gonna place water and break the tower so you can get down, okay?”

The teen gave no indication he heard Techno. He continued to mutter, “He was only here to watch me…” The latter descended the scaffold. He took out his bucket and poured the water over the ground. The scaffolding broke soon after.  
Tommy hit the water with a splash, and Techno scooped it back into the bucket. Tommy was wet, which didn’t work well with the cold. He was still shaking and huddled. He kept muttering various words. The Blade only caught a few things. Most notably Dream’s name.

Techno knelt beside him.  
“Tommy, look at me.”

Tommy only then seemed to realize he was in a different location. His head shot up and looked around, a panicked look in his eyes. He was hyperventilating.  
“Breathe in for four seconds, Tommy.”  
Tommy tried, but he didn’t last.  
“That’s fine, try again.”  
Tommy took a deep breath.

“Now hold it for seven seconds,” Techno continued.  
Tommy couldn’t hold it. He fell back into an uneven pattern.  
“Try again, Tommy.”  
The teen attempted again. He succeeded.

“Now exhale for eight seconds.”  
Success.  
“And again.”

Tommy continued with this method until he’d slowed down. He looked up at Techno in embarrassment. “Uh, thanks, Big T,” he said. “Sorry.”  
“You don’t have to apologize.” Tommy normally never apologized, but he had done so repeatedly since he’d crawled into Techno’s house.

Tommy went quiet.

“What made you so upset, Tommy?”  
The questioned remained silent, pulling his knees a bit closer. He muttered something.  
“I can’t hear you.” Weird, Techno never thought he’d say that.  
“It’s nothing, Techno.”  
“It clearly is, I had to pull you down and stop you from having a panic attack, that isn’t nothing.”  
“Okay, okay, maybe it is something, but you don’t need to press me about it.” Tommy spread his hands.

“It wouldn’t hurt to tell me, Tommy.”  
Tommy sighed. “I know.” He paused. “Just… I remembered something from Logstedshire and got upset. That’s it.”

Techno knew there was more than that. He didn’t press it. “Let’s get you inside. You’re wet and it’s cold.”  
Tommy seemed relieved to have shook off the conversation. “Okay.”

When Tommy was ready, he’d tell them.

Techno turned to the kid. “Were you seriously building that tower just to spite me?”  
A smirk started on Tommy’s face. “Yeah. ‘Cause you can’t tell me what to do.”  
“You are a child.”  
“Am not!”  
The conversation continues as the two enter the cabin, the incident dropped. For now.

~

Philza casually approaches Tommy a few hours later.  
“Hey, Tommy!” he starts. “How have you been?”  
Tommy turns to face him. “Heyy, Phil! I’ve been, ah, pretty good.” He doesn’t mention the prior incident.

“Well,” Phil’s expression turns more serious. “Techno told me what happened earlier.”  
Tommy’s smile dims. “Ah, well.” He waves his hand dismissively. “It was no big deal, really. Just some bad memories is all.”

Philza puts his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “You know you can tell me if something’s wrong, right?”  
“Yeah, I know.” Tommy doesn’t say anything else.

“Tommy,” Phil presses.

Tommy looks troubled. “I really don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”

Phil rubs his shoulder. “Okay, but know that I’ll always be here when you do want to tell me.”

Tommy nods. “Okay.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ask and ye shall receive

Tommy twirls an empty bottle in his fingers, staring at the cold expanse of land in front of him.

He felt bad.

It’s not like he could tell Techno or Phil that he’d tried to off himself. That would lead to either pity any time they looked at him or kicking him out. Tommy wasn’t in the market for either.

As he continued his musings, the air shifted beside him and Ghostbur phased into visibility.  
“Hey, Tommy!” he greeted.  
Tommy sets the bottle down. “Hey, Ghostbur.” There’s no enthusiasm in his voice.  
Ghostbur frowned. “Are you okay, Tommy?”  
“Not really.”

“Well that’s no good,” the apparition concluded. “Here, have some blue!” He gave Tommy some blue dye.  
The dye stained his fingers. Was it a bit bluer than it had been? “Thanks,” he said. An idea struck him. “Hey, if I tell you something sad, will you forget it?”  
Ghostbur tilted his head. “Uh, yeah, most likely…”  
Tommy rubbed the dye in between his hands. “Good.” He took a deep breath. “You remember that I was, uh, really sad in Logstedshire, right?”  
Ghostbur nodded.  
“Well, after Dream left, I was even sadder than usual. I built a tower, and…” Tommy hesitated. “I think I was going to off myself.”

Ghostbur leaned in closer. “Tommy…”  
“And earlier, when I started making another cobblestone pillar, I remembered how I felt on that tower. I got really scared. I think I was terrified that I was gonna fall and go through with it after all. That this would’ve all... been for nothing.” Tommy's voice faltered slightly.

Tommy felt ghostly arms around his sides. He met Ghostbur’s gaze.  
“Tommy, I’m sorry you were scared. Do you need more blue?”  
Tommy shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I just needed to get that off my chest. You can forget it now.”

The cold embrace ceased and Ghostbur phased into the house. Tommy started twisting the bottle around once more.

~

Ghostbur spotted Phil and Techno talking on the main floor of the house. He approached them. “Uh, Phil? I need to tell you something before I forget.”

Phil met his gaze. “Of course, Ghostbur. What is it?”

Ghostbur tapped his fingers. “Ah, well, Tommy told me something sad and I wanted to help him before I can’t remember what he said.”   
Techno gestured for him to continue.  
“Well, he told me that he got scared on that tower of his because he made one in Logstedshire at around the same height. He said he made it because he was really sad.”

Realization illuminated Philza and Techno. Phil covered his hand with his mouth, his eyes wide.

Techno stepped forward and clasped the ghost on the shoulder. “Thanks, Ghostbur. We’ll take it from here.”  
Ghostbur smiled. “I knew you would!”

They’d take care of it.

~

When Tommy entered the house, he first noticed Ghostbur, Phil, and Techno sitting in silence. All of their eyes landed on his. The spaces below Phil’s eyes were red.  
Tommy was puzzled for a moment before his face paled. He stared at Ghostbur. “D...Did you-?”

He was interrupted by Phil’s arms wrapping around his frame.

Phil spoke, his voice gentle, “Tommy, you know you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah, I know…” Tommy was uncharacteristically quiet. “I-It’s fine, guys, no big deal.”

“Tommy,” When did Techno get behind him? “It’s okay to not be okay.”

Any retort died in Tommy’s throat. Why was his face wet? He touched his cheeks to find he was crying. 

Ghostbur hugged him from the side. Techno put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re the best house raccoon I’ve ever had.”

Tommy laughed through his tears. “Ay, since when has Mr. Blood God been so nice?”  
“This time doesn’t count.”

The voices of those present grew as friendly arguing filled the cabin. Tommy grinned as he bantered with the people he was living with. Maybe another day he’d tell them about Dream. Maybe he’d confess just how depressed he was during his exile. But Tommy knew one thing for sure.

Tommy knew that for the first time in a while, he was truly safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok bye <3

**Author's Note:**

> bye thanks


End file.
